It’s Not My Game, But BOY HOWDIE I’ll Play It!

Take a look for a second at KISS bassist Gene Simmons (not too close, unless you have a hazmat suit on). He wrote a book several years ago, “Sex Money Kiss” (which really should have been titled “My Money, My Ego”) in which he detailed his single-minded mission to keep everyone but him the hell out of his wallet.  He scrupulously managed his money and expenses to the degree that he bought his mansion in cash.  He’s the John McEnroe of taxpayers, pushing the rules (and his obligations) to the absolute legal limit.  He’s not ever out of bounds, but, like McEnroe’s usual tennis matches, he’s right on that line.   When it comes to money, Gene is certainly not lazy.  He is the poster child for “Squeeze that nickel till the buffalo shits.”  He’s also the village bicycle and an egotistical Neanderthal when it comes to women, but I tend to overlook that when I hear his band play.  The man’s entire fiscal personality can be boiled down to one tenet:  NEVER pay for anything you don’t have to.  Gene and I have a definite meeting of the minds here; though that’s all of Gene I EVER hope to meet.  

Years ago, I discovered a wonderful little benefit to some credit cards called the REWARDS PROGRAM.  I’m sure you’ve heard of them; cash back, airline miles, blah, blah, blah… I love them all.  Let me admit here that even though I am pretty certain that I’m being heartlessly used by American Express in what I’m sure is their unilateral plan of human and commercial domination, I DON’T CARE.  It seems in their never ending quest to get as many card holders as possible, Amex has beefed up their rewards program in a major way.  They are one of the few companies to have started their programs years ago with an option to get your points changed into gift cards for places like Home Depot, Pottery Barn and Williams-Sonoma.  I was enchanted by this; my husband travels extensively and his expenses, once filtered through Amex, became cards that I used for all kinds of fun things.  It’s the best kind of money-laundering, and it’s saved me a ton of cash.  Now I read that Amazon (yeah- AMAZON… purveyors of, like, EVERYTHING) will let you use Amex points on their website. This is the kind of news that’s extremely exciting to a budget-minded girl like me.  By washing money (that I’m going to spend anyway) through this program, I actually CREATE money for other things (think Christmas…) that always seem to mess up my budget, no matter how much I plan. Being able to use points in a commercial carnival like Amazon makes me crack my knuckles with glee.  That CREATE part is important; I’m getting money that I did not have previously.  That’s pretty damned charming in my book. 

Even if you’re one of those lucky people who don’t have to put your finances in a full nelson every month, you can still take advantage of rewards programs.   These rewards are a potentially HUGE resource for charities and non-profit organizations.  If you don’t need the points, gift cards, airline miles or whatever they are offering, you can always DONATE them to someone who does.  Soldiers come home for the holidays thanks to airline miles donations, points can be cashed in for gift cards and donated to some worthy organization, and so on.  It’s not hard to do and it doesn’t cost you a cent.  Besides, it’s the one way you can get a little satisfaction out of your credit card company who, I guarantee you, only cares about your ability to Live Large as long as you charge it.