Some of these are no-brainers...

but worth reading anyway.  Believe me, I can find $100 in anyone's budget.

http://financiallyfit.yahoo.com/finance/article-110445-6422-1-7-spending-cuts-you-might-not-even-notice?nc

Champagne Wishes and Catalog Dreams...

I’m MOVING.

You heard me- I’m moving.  I am giving up this House of Endless Chores and Crap that Breaks and relocating to heaven itself.  I’m moving in to the Garnet Hill catalog.  I was ready to close the deal on a nice page 44-45 festive living room arrangement in the Pottery Barn catalog, but lately I’ve decided that I need more- in fact, I want the whole smash; superfine cashmere, exotic locales, house wares, bed sheets, pillows with owls on them, and these SICK boots on page 77 that just scream Suburban Housewife/Woman with Fierce but Secret Alter Ego.  Plus, I get to be super skinny with awesome hair and wear Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses with a zippy accessory (like a pith helmet or something) and be so cool that no one will look at me and think “Jeeez, what a jackass.”

I lust after the stuff in this catalog like I can’t even describe… bed sheets with monsters on them (style choice- 9 year old’s room), $48 dollar bath towels (of fine Egyptian cotton that will look awesome even as they start a house fire from the 13 year old leaving them draped over his bedroom lamp), sweaters that my 15 year old will be stoked to steal from me.  The catalogs arrive and I just check out; (insert affected European accent here) “How I long to while away my afternoons in the Essential Voile Dress (p. 88, 138 bucks- note:  NOTHING essential costs $138 unless it’s a car part).  The tag lines on the pages thrill me to no end; “Always on the Go, Always Elegant” and “From Italy, with Love.”  I can’t imagine the kind of money and sheer organizational skill it would take to look that pulled together all the time, BUT I WANT IT (though perhaps not the flats with little flowers on the toes- I succumbed to that fashion statement once, and the only statement I ended up making was TRAGIC MISTAKE).  I want the life that has me waiting eagerly at some picturesque train station (clutching a Boysenberry Easy Leather Tote, p. 100) exuding Boho Chic.

  I can’t think of anyone who lives like this, except for maybe that really hot Russian spy chick that got busted here a few months ago.  In my best estimation, it would require two things:  NO men and Stepford Children.  I’ve cruised this catalog a hundred times and there are never any men in it.  You can tell almost immediately that this is the case when you see the bed sheets promo on page two- NO MEN, because she has ALL THE COVERS! There’s a Boyfriend Fedora on page 63, but NO BOYFRIEND.  Evidently, men make women messy and we can’t have that at the picturesque train station.  Children make a cameo in the middle of the catalog to plug the “Ruffle-licious Savings” of the Ruffle Hem Wool Coat.  They have their own catalog, Garnet Hill Kids, which must have its own picturesque train station, though there are never any parents around so the place must be an insane asylum.  Actually, that’s probably where all the guys are; I bet they’re inside the station watching the game on the overhead television and NOT WATCHING THE KIDS LIKE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO.  I'm going to HAVE to live in that catalog because no one can be Boho Chic with all that nonsense going on...

Flat-screen TV prices to plunge for holiday season

Start saving your sheckles, kids!  Black Friday will be INSANE this year!

Flat-screen TV prices to plunge for holiday season

What defines someone as rich? - chicagotribune.com

Well, this "poor slob" is really in for it.


What defines someone as rich? - chicagotribune.com

Poaching a Prada

And now, I’d like to share a cautionary tale about buying knock-off handbags…I’m sure all the guys are yawning right now, but I almost get arrested in this one-  so hang in and read on.

Not too long ago, I had the gall to go on a Girl’s Trip to visit my friend in New York City.  As a rule, kids hate it when their schedules are messed with.  Woe to the parent that steps into their obsessive-compulsive, narcissistic, paranoid existence with Plans of Their Own.  The news will not go over well.  In fact, when we explained to our youngest that Mom was going to head out for a weekend of skulking through the East Village looking for designer treasures at not-to-be-believed prices, he responded with, “So,” hands on hips, “you’re going?  Well that’s GREAT! WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA EAT?!”  My teenaged daughter took the news much better.  I only had to cross my heart and hope to die that I’d bring her back “something designer, like Coco Channel.” Oh sure, no problem.  My other son just sort of grunted.

So off I go to New York City, wildly anticipating dirty martinis, complicated food, and my Big Designer Score.  My friend lives in Gramercy, so we tooled around that area, where I was very pleased to discover that designer shops do indeedy have racks of stuff they can’t sell to People with Taste.  Evidently, I do not have that problem, as I found a couple of very cute tops- one for me, one for my daughter- very attractively priced.  I overlooked the fact that they weren’t Channel and felt confident that I could placate my daughter with Pinkyotto. 

You know what? I wanted to get something Channel.  I wanted to knock her socks off.  She’s the greatest daughter on the planet and there isn’t one person who’s met her that doesn’t adore her.  My gal pals and I were discussing this very thing, when the idea of getting her a knock-off bag came up.  There are copycat purse vendors all over the place in the city, but according to my friend, the really GOOD stuff can be had in Chinatown.  There is, however, a catch; design houses don’t appreciate posers like me running around with their labels glued on to a bag I didn’t pay upwards of $400 for.  I can see their point, but I am the kind of girl who heaves handbags into the nearest corner floor space- I just can’t be trusted with nice things.  Design houses get so snarky about this issue, in fact, that they vehemently encourage the NYPD to shut down any knock-off vendors whose copies are a little TOO good.  The odds of getting busted (and having a decent story to tell later at parties) made the idea all the more compelling.

My friend explained the process to me on the subway heading to Chinatown; we would be greeted by “someone” asking us if we were looking for bags, then we were to follow them.  That’s it.  “How will we know them?  What will they look like?” I asked, all freaked out feeling very much The Rube from the Midwest.  “I have no idea… but we’ll know,” my friend replied. We were literally two steps into Chinatown when a tiny Asian woman in a black North Face jacket ran up and babbled, “Gucci?  Prada?  Louis Vuitton?”  When we said yes, she took off down the street like a cruise missile, and I realized as we skittered after her that there were Tiny Asian Women in North Face Jackets EVERYWHERE.  Matter of fact, one of them tried to boost us from the one we were following (which is very frowned upon, hence the 30 second squabble that ensued).  When we got to “The Place of Business” I saw nothing but cheesy watches and the same junk handbags everyone else had. My disappointment must have shown, because the TAW in the NFJ (I do hope no one minds the abbreviation- that is quite a lot to type) said, “WAIT!” and pressed a button under the counter, which opened a little door to a little room.  Talk about your High Adventure! WE’RE TALKING COLUMBO TIME HERE!  JAMES BOND AT THE VERY LEAST!  The little room contained The Mother Lode of bags. A quick haggle and display of cash netted me the coveted Channel messenger bag and a very festive Prada hobo number in taxi cab gold.  THEN… the TAW in the NFJ slammed the door and whispered, “Cops outside.”  COPS.   I’m about to wind up in some Women’s Prison upstate.  We suffered through two minutes of her frantic texting to the indifferent guy minding the stall outside, then she opened the door and let us out after the cop left. I’m sure the cop saw us as we bolted back to the subway, but he seemed far too busy yelling at no one in particular to run us down and bust us.    My daughter loved the bag, took it everywhere for 3 days, then relegated it to the hook on the back of her bedroom door where it remains today.  At least she takes care of her stuff; my yellow Prada is in a crumpled heap on my closet floor, right where I tossed it.  The damned label is coming off…

By the way; if you're not up for getting arrested, the site listed below seems to have some good stuff- but not nearly as cheap as the $25 per bag I paid for mine.

http://www.ireplical.net/

It pays to plan early...

Take a peek at this article from CNN...  if you can make your plans early, you'll save some cash.


http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/09/20/holiday.travel.airfares/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn

The Story of Stuff... really.

I think it’s a Universal Truth that when you’re looking for THE BIG PAYOFF, you probably aren’t going to get it, and vice versa.  Today’s example can be found in the jaunt I took to a couple of resale spots I felt certain were going to land me in THE BIG FORTUNA.  One did, and one…. well let’s just say that I won’t be going back in THERE again. They probably won’t allow me anyway. Some crap about a restraining order… perhaps I should give you a bit of “back story”

In my never-ending drive to recover some of my coveted closet space (and cash), I decided to investigate consignment shops.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that there several in my area, and they offer a wide variety of opportunities to either get rid of your stuff or buy someone else’s.  Every item you can think of, from housewares to hockey equipment, can be had on the cheap, and the nature of the beast requires that businesses insure their offerings are in decent shape.  I decided to unload several bags of children’s clothing and some sporting goods that everyone had outgrown.  My targets today were Play It Again Sports and Good Cents Children’s Store.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with Play It Again, they are THE place for “Let’s Try on This Sport” equipment.  Parents of kids aged 4 to 8 years old know that their interests change faster than Sally Field’s personalities in the movie Sybil, and second hand sporting goods shops really help take the bite out of equipment costs.  You can either trade in your old stuff for someone else’s old stuff, or take a slightly lower cash payout.  Five minutes in the store netted me $40.  Not too shabby.

Now we come to The Big Disappointment. The Good Cents Children’s Store operates on consignment; your stuff, if deemed acceptable by the store clerk, gets you 40% of the sale price which you can take as cash or a store credit.   I honestly thought that two overstuffed bags of late-model kid’s togs in excellent condition were going to finance my plans for the weekend.  NOT EVEN CLOSE.  I probably should have gotten a clue when I waltzed in with my trove and took a look at the Competition (everyone else’s stuff) and did not see even one Old Navy label in the offerings.  Nothing but Aeropostale and Abercrombie as far as the eye could see (and I really want to know what kind of goof buys their kid a Coach bag, because there was one in the Teen section… ).  The clerk took one look at my (awesome) stuff and deemed all but seven items unacceptable.  SEVEN.   I was shocked (vocally so, hence the restraining order.  OK, I’m kidding…) to discover that no one wants Old Navy.  I’m sure this is news to Old Navy, as I see the store doing a fairly snappy business most days.  Clearly, I’m going to have to find some other place; perhaps a ‘Less Than Tony Togs’ or ‘Mommy Won’t Buy $48 T-Shirts’ Resale.

For those of you who, like me, wonder how on earth we've managed to accumulate and need so much crap, this link might give you a bit of insight.  The Story of Stuff

I could go on for an hour about how a person's consumerism being tied to their self-worth is just a sickening idea, but the sad fact is, a lot of people seem to be okay with it.  There's no other way to justify the entire concept of retail pricing.  My kid's babysitter once told me that she had the shocking experience to view an entire New York wholesale warehouse floor FILLED with women's black pants.  She told me that buyers from stores like Express, Gap, and Banana Republic select their inventory from these places, mark them up and sell them to people who are probably not aware that their $75 'steal' was actually worth less than ten bucks.  Ouch.  If that doesn't make one feel like a big fat fool, I don't know what would.

Simply Red - Money's Too Tight (To Mention)

Wonder if they'll let me boost this as my personal Theme Song....  it's so very ME.

It’s Not My Game, But BOY HOWDIE I’ll Play It!

Take a look for a second at KISS bassist Gene Simmons (not too close, unless you have a hazmat suit on). He wrote a book several years ago, “Sex Money Kiss” (which really should have been titled “My Money, My Ego”) in which he detailed his single-minded mission to keep everyone but him the hell out of his wallet.  He scrupulously managed his money and expenses to the degree that he bought his mansion in cash.  He’s the John McEnroe of taxpayers, pushing the rules (and his obligations) to the absolute legal limit.  He’s not ever out of bounds, but, like McEnroe’s usual tennis matches, he’s right on that line.   When it comes to money, Gene is certainly not lazy.  He is the poster child for “Squeeze that nickel till the buffalo shits.”  He’s also the village bicycle and an egotistical Neanderthal when it comes to women, but I tend to overlook that when I hear his band play.  The man’s entire fiscal personality can be boiled down to one tenet:  NEVER pay for anything you don’t have to.  Gene and I have a definite meeting of the minds here; though that’s all of Gene I EVER hope to meet.  

Years ago, I discovered a wonderful little benefit to some credit cards called the REWARDS PROGRAM.  I’m sure you’ve heard of them; cash back, airline miles, blah, blah, blah… I love them all.  Let me admit here that even though I am pretty certain that I’m being heartlessly used by American Express in what I’m sure is their unilateral plan of human and commercial domination, I DON’T CARE.  It seems in their never ending quest to get as many card holders as possible, Amex has beefed up their rewards program in a major way.  They are one of the few companies to have started their programs years ago with an option to get your points changed into gift cards for places like Home Depot, Pottery Barn and Williams-Sonoma.  I was enchanted by this; my husband travels extensively and his expenses, once filtered through Amex, became cards that I used for all kinds of fun things.  It’s the best kind of money-laundering, and it’s saved me a ton of cash.  Now I read that Amazon (yeah- AMAZON… purveyors of, like, EVERYTHING) will let you use Amex points on their website. This is the kind of news that’s extremely exciting to a budget-minded girl like me.  By washing money (that I’m going to spend anyway) through this program, I actually CREATE money for other things (think Christmas…) that always seem to mess up my budget, no matter how much I plan. Being able to use points in a commercial carnival like Amazon makes me crack my knuckles with glee.  That CREATE part is important; I’m getting money that I did not have previously.  That’s pretty damned charming in my book. 

Even if you’re one of those lucky people who don’t have to put your finances in a full nelson every month, you can still take advantage of rewards programs.   These rewards are a potentially HUGE resource for charities and non-profit organizations.  If you don’t need the points, gift cards, airline miles or whatever they are offering, you can always DONATE them to someone who does.  Soldiers come home for the holidays thanks to airline miles donations, points can be cashed in for gift cards and donated to some worthy organization, and so on.  It’s not hard to do and it doesn’t cost you a cent.  Besides, it’s the one way you can get a little satisfaction out of your credit card company who, I guarantee you, only cares about your ability to Live Large as long as you charge it. 

You Envy Me… and You Don’t Even Know it.

In a perfect world, all cities and towns would have the funding for a library like mine. You will have to forgive me for waxing poetic here, but my diamond in the suburbs of greater Chicago is THE library that all libraries hope to be. It’s so BEAST (a term I have shamelessly ripped off from my horrified son) that I refer to it as UBER LIBRIS.

To borrow a phrase from my sister Kate, “My library makes me feel rich.” It should- you probably pay enough in taxes for it. How well do you know your library and its offerings? Let me put it another way; Do you have ANY IDEA of what you’re missing? In my case, I’d be missing out on free computer classes, lectures, a live music series, assistance with family genealogy projects, resume assistance and career guidance, an absolutely first rate collection of movies and documentaries, and I haven’t even gotten to the books yet- of which there are gazillions. They aren’t all dated junk, either- the New Release section looks like a Barnes and Noble. Oh, and they have this really great Library newspaper (here is an online version you really ought to check out:   http://www.bookpage.com/    that I help myself to each month so that I can read reviews of books I can add to my stack of Things I Won’t Have Time to Read (but I’ll figure it out somehow).

Let me tell you what happened the day I discovered Cody McFadyen. I will confess to being a somewhat superficial person when it comes to books; if the cover looks groovy, I’m probably going to pick it up. On this particular library visit, I was browsing through the New Releases section when I was confronted by this FIERCE looking book cover (plus it had blue in it, and I really like blue) that I simply had to have. It was Cody McFadyen’s latest, Abandoned (Bantam first edition October, 2009) http://www.codymcfadyen.com/content/abandoned.php?id=description. Upon reading the story summary inside the cover, I knew I had found something VERY SPECIAL. Actually, it was a gross and incredibly violent story with all sorts of plot gyrations and surprises that had me yelling, “OMIGODYOUGOTTAREADTHIS!!!” from the living room when I got home. I broke a land speed record going back to the library later that day for the other three books in the series, promptly broke up with my family, and holed up on the couch for the next few days while I immersed myself in all things Agent Smoky Barrett. Despite what you might be thinking, my kids and husband did not seem to mind (especially after day two, when it was pronounced that I was starting to smell a little “corn chippy”…whatever.)

 I don’t know that I would have found this book right away in a bookstore, may not have paid money and taken a chance on an author I had never heard of. Libraries are great like that- zero investment, and if you hate the book, who cares? Conversely, if you become obsessed, as I did with McFadyen’s Smoky Barrett series, you can indulge in the joy of a HARDCOVER book (I love them… I just LOVE them) for free. Your library is YOUR book collection, albeit at its offsite location. Rockefeller had offsite collections of stuff. So can you. There- now don’t you feel wildly wealthy?

I'm Just a Girl (who likes cheap fun...)

Consider for a moment where your entertainment dollar goes. If you’re like me (meaning you wear your budget like a straightjacket), the fiscal bandwidth to indulge in frivolity is narrow at best. We’re the first show movie goers, the free day at the museum visitors, the folks who want the deep, deep discount. I’m not embarrassed about this, and in fact will probably never again pay full price for things like movies and so on. I don’t care if THE WAY IT’S DONE is to go to dinner and a movie; whoever came up with that little gem is probably hoping to gawd that you never realize that you’re taking a meal and watching a show at the most expensive time to do so. What’s the matter with omelets and a matinee? Just asking…

It’s always nice if the cash I do shell out accomplishes more than just alleviating my boredom. Any time I can support some worthy program with my goofing off, so much the better. It is with this in mind that I submit to you the notion of dumping attending pro sporting events in favor of your local youth/college/farm team games. Not only are they cheap (or in some cases free), these programs offer kids something better to do with their time than driving us all mental. If you are concerned with the level of entertainment or celebrity, consider that many sports stars have kids in area programs, so not only will you get to see the athletic pipeline of tomorrow getting filled, you’ll also have a possible meet and greet with the famous mom or dad.

Chicago Steel forward Alex Krushelnyski

So what’s good cheap exciting fun out this way in Chicago Land? High school sports come immediately to mind; not only was one of our local high school games featured on ESPN last week, the kids from Wheaton Warrenville South High School played the most complete football game I have ever seen outside of a Bill Belichick/ New England Patriots blowout. If you are a sports parent, you know what a thing of beauty this is to witness. Every kid did his job every second of the game, and I was truly surprised that the head coach wasn’t giggling with glee on the sidelines. Junior Hockey (USHL) is another outstanding bang for your buck. For a six dollar ticket, you can see the next generation of college and soon to be pro hockey players duke it out on the ice (sometimes quite literally). The Chicago Steel Hockey club sees players like Dean and Jake Chelios and Alex Krushelnyski  come through their ranks; with their NHL star dads up in the stands cheering them on. Baseball farm teams are another great option. Who knew when they were watching the Kane County Cougars (Oakland A’s affiliate) hurler Josh Beckett on the mound that they were seeing the development of one of baseball’s most currently celebrated pitchers in the making- for the bargain price of thirteen bucks! And the beer is good! And the hotdogs were reasonable! WOOT!

I challenge you to hunt up some of the lesser attended, definitely less expensive, but certainly no less exciting lower tier sports in your area. You may even know some of the kids playing. At the very least, you put dollars and support into local programs that add value to your area. At the most, you could become a die-hard nut job fan of a team you can really afford to support. You may even discover a new sport to fall in love with. Don’t even get me started on what happened to my world the day I saw my very first college lacrosse game… GOOOOOO SYRACUSE!!!

I know who stole my hundred bucks...

"We need $125 for your son's fall cross country fees, Mrs Jackson." 

Any conversation that begins like that in this economy is bound to give me a stomach ache.  Number one, that's a lot of cash for me these days...  I need A Plan to actually produce that kind of money  under my current budget constraints.  More on The Plan in a minute.  Number two, exactly what the hell costs $125 with respect to middle schoolers running around a track anyway?  It's not like they even get to keep the jersey, which is actually a cheapie little nylon pullover with minimal style.  "Fees went up, you know, with THE BUDGET CUTS." was the answer I was given when I asked why it cost so much.  BUDGET CUTS are the current bane of my exisistance and seem to be the reason for every complaint I make to the three schools my three children attend (one elementary, a middle school, and high school).  I know all about BUDGET CUTS.  After two layoffs in two years, I can hack a budget up with surgical precision. Though the BUDGET CUTS dodge seemed like a pretty thin answer to me, I sighed and let it go, my motherhood induced ADD mind already churning with ideas on how to get the cash. 

The Plan, as it turned out, was pretty simple: I sold some stuff.  I have A LOT of stuff. I probably could have just adjusted my budget here and there and found the cash that way, but I'm a little lazy and fast cash ala CraigsList (baby bike seat and tandem, never used) and Amazon (books... I have a CRAP TON of books) got me the money within a week.  All I had to do was upload and wait for the sale, which came very quickly.  No one, it seems, wants to buy "new" stuff these days- certainly not new baby items that get used for six months and placed in a garage.  No to New Books, too- every financial advisor out there is saying to buy USED, so all my brand-new-meant-to-read-them books that cost me full price just flew out my door at half price or less.  No big deal, I thought... I know my very excellent library has them anyway...  which sort of makes my buying them in the first place look all the more absurd.  All these people buying my used stuff... way smarter than me.  Things I'll never read, use, want to dust... crammed into my shelves and closets, waiting to be turned to cash.  As the economy forces me to be more frugal, I find myself actually feeling had.  My son gets to be on the team, I don't have as many books and baby things cluttering up my house, but judging by the amount of crap still laying around here, this fight isn't over by a long shot.